Completely Gratuitous Outfit Post

What I'm Wearing
* Vintage coat ...found 100 years ago at the Melrose/Fairfax flea market ...for $30. yep. amazing. I love this coat
* Seven for all Mankind wide-leg jeans ...also old
* Via Spiga lace-up wedge booties
* Ivory Pashmina
* Vintage Gucci bag
* Tom Ford Sunglasses
* Gold hoops
* Hair ...wet-ish

If you can tell I'm not feelin' it lately, you'd be right. If you can't tell, then bravo. I'm pulling it off ...lol.

It seems that after 5 years of controlling my anxiety, it has come back and slapped me right in the face again full throttle. Although I believe this time, it was good ol' depression that kicked it off.

I can't put my finger on the exact point of return {time change/seasonal depression? holidays?} but my husband seems to think it is/was the birth of my gorgeous niece. The depression may have begun with the pregnancy and turned to anxiety around October 8 or so when she was born. I really wish I could deny all of that and make it untrue but I'm pretty sure that would just cause more of this horrendous anxiety. And every time I think I get a handle on it, I have a night like last night where I slept a total of 2 hours ...maybe.

I think I have a thinking problem ...I cannot seem to get out of my head and just when I think I do, my head does its best to pull me right back in.

Another kicker ...I'm not too fond of medication. In fact, it totally scares me. I was on a small dose of Effexor for about a year {2003-04} and coming off of it was hell -like electric shocks zzzzizzzing through my body. Since then, like I said above, I have had a handle on it. Sure I self-medicate with a little herbal medicine via vapor puff {which I have a prescription for} but I'm at such a red alert THAT now sends me over the edge and induces a minor panic attack.

I have been taking the tiniest of tiny doses of Ativan as needed {when it seems my insides are about to explode and I just want to run down the street as fast as I can} and even that freaks me out.

I think it's time to surrender to my insanity and see a psychiatrist ...a psychiatrist who can prescribe me medication to bring me back down to normal again. ...although I have seen therapists in the past ...one of which fell asleep just after asking me a question about my worth as a woman. So my faith in therapists is not exactly on the high scale but I worry that if I go see my regular doctor, I'll just be a guinea pig trying drugs until one works. I'd like to figure out wtf is wrong with me ...or if I, indeed, need to be medicated for the rest of my life ...because at this point, it's looking pretty good.

Anyone have any tips? Any favorites for anti-depressants/anxiety meds ...for sensitive stomachs :)

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Completely Gratuitous Outfit Post

What I'm Wearing
* Forever 21 floral ruffle dress
* American Apparel denim leggings
* Heritage long gray cardigan
* Vintage cognac corduroy blazer
* Ivory Pashmina scarf
* BCBG cognac boots ...last seen here
* Tom Ford sunglasses




This outfit, to me, feels very much like fall and Thanksgiving. Although I wore it Wednesday on a last minute day at work, I actually wore the dress and sweater with jeans yesterday for Thanksgiving dinner because I just wanted to be casual and comfy ...and something about the florals and all the layers just reminds me of turkey. The only bit of sunlight on the way home Wednesday afternoon was on the mountain top again {Benedict Canyon} ...which I just love so much. The way the sun hits and the lighting is so dreamy. However, whilst standing on the cliff, I lost my balance a little and realized just how far I would tumble down the mountain if I did, indeed fall. And I have to say, that freaked me out a little, er, a lot. lol. I hope you all had a wonderful and thankful Thanksgiving yesterday ...I did. But most of my photos of the day were of my little niece, Delilah ...in fact, other than my outfit posts shots, Delilah seems to be where the focus of the camera goes ever single time. So here's a little shot for you in her daddy's arms {she's also wearing a little baby long sleeve gown from American Apparel ;) ...I'm going to visit her now.

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Need an Easy Last Minute Dessert?No-Bake Peanut Butter Chocolate Squares

...my most favorite recipe of all time. Why? Because it's quick, easy, fairly inexpensive and you don't need an oven.























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Completely Gratuitous Outfit Post

* Vintage teal Tahari jacket/blazer with lucite button -love.this.jacket- ...seen here when I was still taking my outfit shots indoors in the gallery ...it's crazy to me how much better they look outside, in natural light. Although I have gotten a few emails/comments from readers missing the "leg up" shot at my desk. sorry :/
* Black Forever 21 sequined tank/tunic ...seen here
* DL1961 Premium Denim gray jeans {gilt/fuse.com} ...seen here. These are new ...and can I tell you, I'm loving them. For skinny jeans, they're loose enough at the top to not create a "muffin" as most of my other tight skinnies do. Also, they're rather slimming in my opinion because, uh, today's day one of el periodo and I'm feelin' on the thin side. Comfy AND slimming? wow. need.more.please.likenow.
* Velvet Angels black t-strap wedge booties with black socks ...last seen here ...although these shoes via SeaofShoes would maybe be perfection with it.
* Jami Rodriguez gold/white & black feather earrings use code MAEGAN40 for 40% off your entire order! ...seen here -I so love them!
* Black Chanel sunglasses {2005}
* Vintage Gucci bag

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Flirty Ruffle & Bow Panties DIY ...they make great gifts!

I chose to DIY {white & gray} bows butt for you today using cotton bikini panties from American Apparel. {also see the boy shorts above -any of AA's underwear will work, cotton is the best for this project} ...as for the lace, it's pretty self-explanatory, you just stitch it on ...easier and quicker with a machine but definitely doable by hand. Lace & satin ribbon is washable. I've washed mine {in cold} dozens of times without a problem. When choosing fabrics/notions for this project, make sure they're washable ...these are underwear, remember. {unless you're going to only wear them over tights or leggings for dance/theater purposes, then go grab the sequins, fringe & marabou boas and feather the butts!}

































* Also consider using an old t-shirt to create cute ruffles like this ruffle butt baby onesie ...which is a bit more "eco" and definitely washable.




Way back before Amercian Apparel was cool or even had retail stores, they were mostly known for great wholesale basics. I used to sell ruffly adorned cute and sexy panties and bedtime sets. I've given many as gifts as well ...for they are perfect in all white for the bride to be! But they are so easy to make I thought why not share the lovelies with you as a great option for holiday gift-giving. Have Fun!

Dear Emu of cozy Australian footwear,

I just want to commend you on your model choice for this ad found in the latest fashion magazines like Elle, Vogue & possibly Bazaar {I can't remember which one I yanked it out of} ...for you chose not a ridiculously skinny 12 year old girl to represent today's woman, you chose a healthy girl and not only that, you chose to display her nice round healthy butt in it. I can't tell you how much I adore this ad, not only because I too have a similar backside, but for what it represents ...a real {or closer to} real woman.

Thank you.

In searching for Emu, I found that this model won a competition to be the ass face of Emu ...and they're having another model search contest for 2010. Click here to enter {not sure if it's still going on though}

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Do As One ~ Let's Breathe Together

If you knew that taking more conscious breaths would enable every system of your body to create a healthier and more aware version of you, would you do it?







Log in daily to the Universal Breathing Room and breathe with people from all over the world. You can set an intention from Abundance to health to forgiveness to gratitude or create your own to focus on while you breathe. This is such an easy way to get grounded on a less-than-optimal day it's hard not to log in and just breathe for a minute or two.

Do As One