June 1st 2004

I think the car came just in time - who knows what would have happened
-had you got to the other side

The rational of it all - the contrasting shades
- the symmetry of the morning
could not be duplicated, recreated - or erased

I wish I was still 27 - you would still be here
- instead of in heaven, though I don't believe it's real



Billy was a birthday present in 2002 and he was taken away two years later - on my birthday.

Not a birthday goes by that I do not think of that morning. The morning I turned 28. The morning Billy McBillerson died. If I told you the story, you wouldn't believe me.

I found the above poem in an old journal the other night while searching for something else. I still believed in heaven then. Two pages later, I found this:

"Death doesn't just take someone, it misses someone else, and in the small distance between being taken and being missed, lives are changed." from The Five People you Meet in Heaven


...and I believe it. Lives WERE changed because of his death. Pep and I became "we" and we saved LeRoy. But I will shed tears every year on my birthday forever and sadly I will be reminded of "her" as well.