Do you ever wonder…

…if you did things differently would the outcome still be the same?

I guess this is a question of fate. Do you believe you have one destiny and no matter which path you take you will end up at the same destination in the end?

Is destiny the only answer to having no regrets? …and if you knew, would you have changed your path?

Is there sense to any of it or are we just filling our time up until we die?

I guess it all depends on what you think is real. What is real?


LA native & lifestyle blogger Maegan Tintari writes daily at ...love Maegan.com sharing beauty & style secrets, including fashion DIYs, how-to nail art manicures, hair tutorials, and home decorating ideas, as well as a look into her personal life with her husband and adorable dogs, two Frenchies & an old Pug in wheels. Here you will find her talking about their journey & battle with infertility & recent relocation up to the mountains by a lake in search of a better life.

36 Comments

  • Yaya

    February 22, 2009 | Reply

    Wow this is deep.

    I don’t know about fate. I know I definitely don’t believe in the ‘everything happens for a reason’ thing.

    What is real. Love is real to me. Happiness, laughter.

  • dolcechic

    February 22, 2009 | Reply

    I often wonder the same things. What’s my purpose? If I had made different choices a few years ago, would I be here or would I actually be doing what I want in life? I just hope the choices I make will continue to bring me good health, success and contentment.

  • Bambola

    February 22, 2009 | Reply

    I can’t help but think it’s a mixture of both. Kind of like a choose your own ending novel. Fate gives you a variety of options, opportunities, chances, it’s up to you which ones you take & which ones you leave.

  • K.Line

    February 22, 2009 | Reply

    Man, you do Sunday night introspection, like, all out! I don’t think there is one destiny. I do believe the path changes the outcome. Not that it matters, I suppose, because we all do what we’re going to do.

    If I’d known certain things I would have changed my path (at various occasions). I don’t know that it would have made me a better person – or even, in the course of time, a happier person. THough I suspect it might have.

    Point is, if I consider whatever path I’m on is “the right path”, then I’m likely to enjoy it (or buck up to its bad moments) that much better.

    As for what’s real, I really can’t answer that one.

  • freeTEYme

    February 23, 2009 | Reply

    this is an unexpected post from you… you hit me bulls eye… the very question that’s been bugging me for the past year… i believe in fate… i believe in destiny… but if i knew then what i know now i probably would have taken a different path… the road less traveled…

  • Mrs. RJRG

    February 23, 2009 | Reply

    Oh boy! Don’t get me started. Lol

    In a nut shell:

    I believe in fate, sort of. I think that choices we make lead us down a certain path. BUT I think there are an infinate amount of paths with an infinate amount of outcomes. Because the choice can be a simple as brushing hair away from your face (because doing that or not could mean someone catching a glimpse of you out of the corner of their eye).

    This conclusion that I came up with stemmed from a paper I had to write in high school regarding Fate vs Free Will. My answer: Why can’t it be both? Hence the infinate amount of choices, paths, and conclusions. We have free will, but our choices still lead us somewhere.

    I also don’t believe in the whole “no regrets” thing. Regret is a human emotion we have when we have done something “wrong”. If I may brach out here a moment: The thing that makes a true psychopath in my opinion, is the inability to feel emotions such as regret or remorse. They can not comprehend what “wrong” is. Now, I’m not saying everyone who claims they have no regrets is a psychopath. It’s just to make the point that people do regret certain things in their lives. BUT (here’s the importanat thing) Just because you regret something, doesn’t mean you have to dwell on it. And that’s what I think most people mean by “no regrets”.

    If I hadn’t dated my ex (which was a really, really bad idea – I was astranged from my family and it was really just a dark 2 years for me), I wouldn’t have ever met my husband.

    Do I regret the mistakes I made over the years? Absolutely! Do I dwell on it? Not at all! I am happy where I am now, and I wouldn’t change it.

    Here is a tough one that I tried wrapping my head around: A few months before my husband and I met his 15yo cousin suddenly died from lukemia. He moved back home and became somewhat of a homebody. So our friends thought to “hook us up” since my relationship just ended. So… If she hadn’t passed, he wouldn’t have moved home, and our friends probably wouldn’t have thought to introduce us.

    This also leads into my philosophy that everything does not happen for a reason. One could look at this and say that she died so we could find eachother, but I think that would be a heartless thing to say. How could I tell my husband this who misses his cousin, that he helped raise, so very much even still. I think it would be selfish.

    So I guess to wrap this up: Sometimes things just happen for no good reason. And it’s our choices (free will) of how we react to these things that define our fate. Not the other way around.

    (I guess that was a pretty big nutshell…)

  • Nicole Marie

    February 23, 2009 | Reply

    I think about this pretty much every day.

  • Megan

    February 23, 2009 | Reply

    I do believe everything happens for a reason. If I look back at my life thus far I can see where one thing lead to another, and how I wouldn’t be where I am today without that. Of course I could have taken a different path, but even then I don’t know where it would have ended up- I once thought I would be living in NYC married to the richest man and we would live in the top floor of the highest building. Life. Changes.

  • Schatzie

    February 23, 2009 | Reply

    I totally believe in destiny. However, I think it is a balance of free will and God’s hand. It is both deep and scary to think about how our past choices have effected our lives now. But it’s also proof that sometimes adversity or mistakes can turn you into something better.

    I don’t know what we are here for until we die…. I do believe in God and heaven, but I am at a loss as to why we have this in between called life.

    So…. how about that dress Beyonce was wearing??? Yuk!! Looks like she made it using fabric from Ramada Inn drapes.

  • Holly

    February 23, 2009 | Reply

    i totally think we are in control of what happens. i think if i were to take that one job instead of that other job, it dictates my days the people i meet and the decisions i make. we are influced by what is around us.

  • Girl Japan

    February 23, 2009 | Reply

    If I hadn’t dated my ex (which was a really, really bad idea – I was astranged from my family and it was really just a dark 2 years for me), I wouldn’t have ever met my husband.

    —- My sentiments exactly!!!!

    I’ve made some mistakes but i try not to let ill feelings dwell over me, it is what made me into the person I am today, a bit OCD but kind and generous.

    I don’t think everything happens for a reason but some do = )

  • Franco

    February 23, 2009 | Reply

    I am going to get a little un-magical here, personally i don’t believe in destiny, i mean sure some people might end up what they will be no matter what, but I am a big believer on the butterfly effect and the chaos theory which states that one small action could iniates a domino effect creating a way bigger action.
    Let’s say you wear your hair straight to work one day, a person walks by the window and confuses you with a her last girlfriend who cheated on him, he comes in and forces you to go with him, you boss tries to stop the guy but he shoots him, causing you to loose your job, due to your criminal involvement no one will hire you, you can’t aford rent no more and go homeless.
    you never know where your next step might take you to, destiny is always changing.

  • Cathy Voyage

    February 23, 2009 | Reply

    I don’t believe in fate, I think what YOU DO matters…

  • AndreaLeigh

    February 23, 2009 | Reply

    I think there is a master plan, but we make choices that can deviate from that path. like if I had chose to go to grad school in NC instead of SC, I would not have met my husband and would probably be single or married to someone else.

    I don’t know… I think about this a lot as well.

  • bianca

    February 23, 2009 | Reply

    I think about this all. the. time. Usually it comes up when something ends up the exact opposite of what I wanted. I always ask “what could I have done/said differently?” And then I start thinking of all the infinite possibilities until I slowly drive myself crazy. It all goes back to the question of if we control our own destinies. I love this conversation.

  • Saskia

    February 23, 2009 | Reply

    I think about this A LOT…

    I’m not sure I believe in destiny, but I do definitely believe that things happen for a reason. Following that I do have regrets (who doesn’t?!) but if I could go back & do my life over again I would not change a thing – I wouldn’t be where I am today, or be the person I am now.

    Saskia x

  • Penny

    February 23, 2009 | Reply

    My theory is that in life,with every decision you have to make,you only usually have 2 choices.Say,right or left.Every time you make a choice,your destiny is altered,based on the choice you made.I don’t think anyone’s destiny is set in stone.It mutates according to the choices we make.

  • Ruggy13

    February 23, 2009 | Reply

    hmmm… tough one…

    I feel like personally when we make choices in life, we make them to move on to something that’s either better or worse, if it’s worse, we have to make another decision, I do believe in destiny, but I can’t necessarily say that if I didn’t go to school where I did, I would have still met Josh and the friends I did, I don’t see how that’s possible. I guess you could say i believe that the choices we make lead us to our destiny.

    What is real to me is laughter (the good kind), catching up with a friend on the phone for an hour, watching friends trying to have babies, family, and love, the real kind of love that isn’t happily ever after, the kind where you have fights, but you figure it all out and it’s perfect again.

  • Robin

    February 23, 2009 | Reply

    i think you make your own destiny. I can see the affects of decisions that i made in my life and how they how impact me today. Stupid little decisions..like dating one guy or the other, taking this job or that one. I do believe some of it is plain old luck, being in the right place at the right time too. Your inate temperment has something to do with what happens to you…are you shy or outgoing. Will you push when people say no or will you give in BUT I also think you can have your spirit taken from you or beat down.

    It’s all random to me. Kind of like we are floating around. Do I believe in fate…..nope.

  • The Seeker

    February 23, 2009 | Reply

    I believe we all come with a mission. If we acomplish it or not it’s up to us. We must return until do it.
    You’ve many paths to go for, sometimes we don’t go for the best, because we have the free will.

    Fate…. no

    Enjoy your time, dear

    xoxo

  • brooke

    February 23, 2009 | Reply

    destiny/fate believer…i believe that i do….

    would i, could i, should i {past/present/future}change my path…i’ll admit…i am afraid of that answer…

    as for what is “real” not a doubt in my mind…who i am here for

    take all this with a grain…i am in the way of pms…so next week my answer could very possibly be cheerier!!

  • Lump

    February 23, 2009 | Reply

    I believe that every decision we make paves our future. I definitely don’t believe in fate and definitely don’t believe we have one destiny.

    What we do to ourselves and to others is what matters the most to me….

    hope you had a great weekend!

  • La Belette Rouge

    February 23, 2009 | Reply

    Sometimes I wonder how my life would be if I made the opposite decisions than I have made. Actually, I think about this a lot. I am happy with the decisions I have made but I just wonder…..

  • Chessa!

    February 23, 2009 | Reply

    I wonder these things all the time. I definitely have regrets. I think it is absolutely human to have them and people who say they regret nothing, I think, are not being honest with themselves. I can base a lot of decisions that I made in my past on being young, inexperienced, naive, etc. but some bad choices were made of pure selfishness. The latter I regret for sure, but the former, if I really take the time to contemplate it (and I don’t anymore bc life is about moving forward and not living in the past), I sincerely feel bad about and wish that I just knew better than to make those choices. Does this make sense?

    On the other hand, I do think that everything happens for a reason. As cliche as it sounds, I think it’s true.

  • Julia

    February 23, 2009 | Reply

    Oh, these kinds of questions get me into heaps/loads of trouble. Because I never end up feeling as if I made the right decisions, but rather I think about all the commitments I’ve made along the years that could have been different. Maybe should have been different.

    If you have any further thoughts, let us know, I would love to know what you think!

  • ms. shoo {shebreathes.com}

    February 23, 2009 | Reply

    This comment has been removed by the author.

  • Bruce

    February 23, 2009 | Reply

    Interesting, contemplative question. I think that the only real thing that I have learned over the years, is that what people, politicans, corporations, tell you is vastly different from the truth. We all need to personally figure out the truth and not expect others to tell us what it is. Until we do that as individuals, we are just filling up time until we die.

  • ms. shoo {shebreathes.com}

    February 23, 2009 | Reply

    Gosh, what thought provoking questions. So much has happened in my life, and I’ve learned that it’s how you look at things that matter most — well to me of course.

    I’m a strong believer in not dwelling in the things I can’t change, but giving my all to things I can. I’m sort of a perpetually optimistic but realistic person {smile}.

    But I endorse “time” as a great healer. So is perspective + forgiveness of self and those who may have hurt you. Once you do that regrets have no space to seep in and settle. I look back to break habits, but not to dwell. Dwelling + regrets are great time wasters. Time you can’t get back. People only to tend to think of the grieving process when death is involved, but sometimes if we allow ourselves to grieve just a bit over the people, friends, lovers, etc we’ve lost we can learn and move forward better.

    I don’t mean to sound hokey, but I truly believe the mind is powerful and what you fill it with usually determines your outlook.

    But my friend to err is human, and we’re all beautifully human. But at the end of the day, despite any past heartaches + pain, to me love is real. It’s the truth I hold onto. It’s the one thing that can withstand and outlast.

  • Diabolina Da Fashionista

    February 24, 2009 | Reply

    i think what is here and now is real. this moment is real. everything else is an illusion. especially what ifs.

  • Big Red

    February 24, 2009 | Reply

    I ponder this all the freakin’-frackin’ time! Thank god I am not alone anymore! hahahahahaha

  • Wep

    February 24, 2009 | Reply

    Are you in my head? I firmly believe that everyone has their choices, and your choices determine your fate. I definitely think your life is determined by choices you made in the past, but I like to think you can control the future too. I hope so anyway :)

  • Aartee

    February 24, 2009 | Reply

    I wonder this all the time, I really think it’s all a part of being human…but sometimes it’s not a fun state of mind.

  • PS~Erin

    February 24, 2009 | Reply

    I try not to look back too often and wonder. I love how things are turning out, so I try to concentrate there. I have often scoffed and fumed when people tell me that “everything happens for a reason” when I’m going through a tough spot (especially when we had issues trying to get pregnant), but it is reassuring to evaluate the sequence of events and see where they led to. It’s comforting when it all aligns and things are explained for you. It’s not always like that, but I still like where it’s all headed. I think.

  • Emily

    February 26, 2009 | Reply

    that’s deep…
    and i have thought about that before but I can’t accomplish much because i have no idea what would happen if i had chosen a different path

  • lisa @ luxe

    February 27, 2009 | Reply

    I have been wondering that alot lately for some reason…

    Have you ever seen “Sliding Doors”? It is a really unique movie about just that…

    x
    o
    x
    o

  • hautepocket

    March 1, 2009 | Reply

    I think our choices are what we make of them. We create our own destiny.

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