Believe in Love & Sex & Magic


DSC_0020 copy

What I’m Wearing
* Vintage cognac corduroy blazer
* Camel soft and fuzzy turtleneck …tags says Climax Australia …and I’m pretty sure this was a gift or hand-me-down from someone. It’s fairly old but still comes in handy for a classic look once in a while
* Gap army green flaresseen here – in my second ever outdoor outfit post hA! These must be at least 6 years old by now. I think they were part of a mini-shopping spree I went on when I went back into the gallery to work after working from home for a few years and that was 2005 – so, wow. Also, they were never quite long enough for my liking so I took out the hem with a seam ripper and since they are cotton, and army green, I was able to get away with leaving the edges raw
* Asos boyfriend belt …& like I said the last time I wore itit runs a bit large which I kind of like because I can wear it around my hips as well as my waist though it’s just barely tight enough at my waist to work {but I like the comfort of it really}
* My {grandma’s} vintage Givenchy perfume bottle necklace again …and seemingly every time I go for a 70′s-ish kinda look lately I wear this.
* Louis Vuitton Speedy 30
* Sam Edelman lace up granny boots

DSC_0024

DSC_0017

Believe in Love & Sex & Magic because love & sex usually equal magic in a married couple’s life …and really, I’m mostly referring to the latter.

I like sex …in fact, I love having sex with my husband. But let’s be honest, as a modern woman, sex isn’t always at the top of my list of things “To-do”. And I may be generalizing here but I’m betting if you’re a married woman reading this, it’s not on yours either.

Now, if you’re in the first stages of your relationship or your marriage, maybe it is at the top of your list – or even if you’re trying to have a baby it is …but once you’ve got a few years as husband and wife under your belt and maybe even have a kid or two begging for your attention all day long – not to mention work, blogging, grocery shopping, making dinner, cleaning up the house …you know what I mean. Sometimes it just seems like another “thing” you have “to do” instead of what it is {fun, pleasurable & relaxing, not to mention creates intimacy w/your partner – keeps you healthy & young, great exercise, the list goes on}.

But sometimes it is that “thing” you have “to do” to keep your husband happy and your marriage alive. Comedians & sitcoms aren’t talking about it for just laughs, I promise.

When my husband gets a little cranky or edgy with me {which is not often really because I’m an awesome wife ;} but when he does, I can usually pinpoint the cause within seconds of the realization . . . it’s probably been a few days since we had sex {and though he doesn’t want to admit it, I’m always right}.

With the exception of the WEEK OF HORROR, aka my period, the husband wishes to have sex every day – and twice a day if he were the luckiest man alive. I on the other hand, would be okay getting boned once every 3 days at the least …but if it has gone that long, by the middle of day 3, my best friend and love of my life gets a look on his face which I can best interpret as such: “Woman, I married you to secure that vagina! …so that I would get it whenever I wanted it …and so that no one else could have it! …If I wanted a roommate, I’d go live with my boys”

The above truth assumption leads me to believe that men are seemingly very basic creatures and really require very little to keep them happy. In fact, to prove my theory correct, I stopped writing for a moment to ask the husband: What would a man’s top 3 priorities be? …and In my husband’s {very prolific} words he responded: “if he gets fucked, he gets fed, and he gets to do his thing {i.e. his hobby or time alone}, he’s a pretty happy dude”

He’s no Shakespeare, but methinks he is righto!

I know, I know, it’s 2011 and the Feminist Movement and blah blah blah. But ladies, this is part of working at a marriage and honestly, it’s not like you don’t get anything out of it {hopefully}, right? Sometimes it seems like there’s just not enough time in the day or you have a list of things that still need to be done but when you break down how long it really takes to be intimate with your man, you realize it’s not that hard to fit it in {pun intended}. Men at their core need to FEEL LIKE A MAN …and usually, sex is a direct route to that feeling for them. It puts a spring in their step, a smile on their face …and relaxes them to their core. {and it relaxes us too}

All I’m sayin’ is this: If you want a happy husband [READ] if you want a husband who will do anything you ask him to do and give you anything you want {within reason} with a smile on his face …you gotta give up the sacred poon. It’s worth its weight in gold really ;}

DSC_0027


Share/Bookmark

LA native & lifestyle blogger Maegan Tintari writes daily at ...love Maegan.com sharing beauty & style secrets, including fashion DIYs, how-to nail art manicures, hair tutorials, and home decorating ideas, as well as a look into her personal life with her husband and adorable dogs, two Frenchies & an old Pug in wheels. Here you will find her talking about their journey & battle with infertility & recent relocation up to the mountains by a lake in search of a better life.

117 Comments

  • Gabby / Gypsy*Diaries

    January 6, 2011 | Reply

    I love your honesty in talking about such a taboo topic and I have been nodding my head from the first word to the last. Man are really simple, aren’t they. Make them happy and they’ll make you happy. :)
    xxx

    http://gypsy-diaries.blogspot.com/

  • Nikosmommy

    January 6, 2011 | Reply

    Amen sister. I couldn’t agree with you MORE.

  • Katie

    January 6, 2011 | Reply

    So, so true!

  • sara

    January 6, 2011 | Reply

    Word. Recently got hooked on your blog, and enjoy your outfit and home decor posts very much. This is definitely a more risque post than I expected from your blog, but I have to agree. Without giving out TMI, when I’m not feeling it, and I know hubs is getting edgy, a quick BJ always does the trick to make him happy. Give and take.

  • Promotional Pens

    January 6, 2011 | Reply

    You hit the Nail on the Head…(no pun intended) :-)

  • Ariana

    January 6, 2011 | Reply

    Lovely style!

  • Gracinha

    January 6, 2011 | Reply

    your hair is amazing :)

  • bels

    January 6, 2011 | Reply

    wow! lovely pictures!Love the outfit, I like your blog

    visit my blog

    http://bels-summerswing.blogspot.com/

    kisses

  • MerciBlahBlah

    January 6, 2011 | Reply

    What might be more dope than that vintage necklace that I COVET each time you wear it is the fact that you wrote those words. LOVE it.

    Oh, and you look fantastic. Duh.

    Merci!
    Shannan

  • Ashley

    January 6, 2011 | Reply

    I’ve been reading your blog off and on for a few weeks and this is the 1st time I’ve commented. This was just a great post – something I needed to hear :-) Thanks!

  • No Guilt Fashion

    January 6, 2011 | Reply

    Words to live by. That is actually our marriage goal this year. So far so good ;)

  • besswess

    January 6, 2011 | Reply

    Men are such simple creatures.
    Love those jeans. I have to start giving up my skinnies and going with the wide leg.

  • Solcito

    January 6, 2011 | Reply

    Amen to THAT!

  • Ying

    January 6, 2011 | Reply

    LOL! OMG. I’m dying. Because you are absolutely right. By about day two I can see my hubs getting pretty antsy and if doesn’t happen, by day three there’s usually hell to pay. If we go beyond three days he turns into a monster but THE moment he gets it, he loves me to death. Haha. Love you for talking about this so openly on your blog. Glad to see confirmation that I’m not the only one who knows this about my man.

  • Anonymous

    January 6, 2011 | Reply

    Hi Maegan,
    Love your blog, and love that fact that you talk so candidly about these kinds of subjects. However, I just want to speak up for all the girls who don’t have it so easy. I am now feeling jealous of girls who’s husbands want it daily b/c mine is dealing with depression and prozac affects libido and the ability to orgasm. So sex is more frustrating than fun at this point and when ‘it’ doesn’t happen I feel like it is b/c I’m not sexy enough despite knowing better. I know you weren’t trying to encompass everyone’s situation and I’m sorry to be a downer, but just wanted to put it out there incase anyone else struggles with the same issue. Its not always just as easy as ‘giving in’ to your man. For some couples it takes a lot of work on both parties, but I do believe it is worth it to keep trying.

  • Deborah

    January 6, 2011 | Reply

    Yes, Yes, and YES!

    It’s so easy and really, makes us happy as well.

    This is how men feel love from us as well.

    So wise!

  • *amanda*

    January 6, 2011 | Reply

    I think this post it funny because your outfit is so all-the-way-to-the-neck and all-the-way-down-to-the-anks! So covered up! Haa haa! …and you’re talkin’ about vampin’ it up and doin’ (right by) your man!
    LOVE the CONTRAST! :)

  • *amanda*

    January 6, 2011 | Reply

    I think this post it funny because your outfit is so all-the-way-to-the-neck and all-the-way-down-to-the-anks! So covered up! Haa haa! …and you’re talkin’ about vampin’ it up and doin’ (right by) your man!
    LOVE the CONTRAST! :)

  • ashe mischief

    January 6, 2011 | Reply

    Hahaa! I love your voice as a writer, esp. when talk about things like poon and men. It keeps it down to earth and realistic. Not everyone has it so easy, but for the most part, the world needs more hot sex and less of, well, everything else.

  • RaceforProsperity

    January 6, 2011 | Reply

    loving the flares

  • Andi

    January 6, 2011 | Reply

    LOL at sacred poon! Too funny, yet so right.
    Loving this 70s throwback look too, it’s yummy.

  • Jennifer

    January 6, 2011 | Reply

    I love your honesty here and I completely agree. It just so happens that I had this very thought process last night when all I wanted to do was go to sleep (I wake up early and he sleeps in) but when the opportunity presented itself, I couldn’t say no. It was fun, enjoyable and made me sleep like a baby afterwards so it was all worth it in the end.
    I love this post and I think I love you even more for writing it!

  • Linda

    January 6, 2011 | Reply

    This is SO TRUE. I NEVER say no to my husband, even if I’m half asleep. It’s not that difficult to “just do it”. Sex is so important, esp to the boys. You are doing a service to your readers to remind them of this important fact of marriage and relationships!!

  • Lexy of BeautyFash

    January 6, 2011 | Reply

    Could not agree more! When we are “regular”, life is easier and happier in my house. :) It is what it is, he needs it, I’ll give it. HA! Can’t understand why it would be any other way.

    Great outfit, love the color of those trousers! They look amazin with camel and cognac!

  • Francesca

    January 6, 2011 | Reply

    wow i love those gap jeans- i cant believe how nice they fit!

    xoxo,
    F

    Le Kiss Kiss- Click Here!!

  • annie

    January 6, 2011 | Reply

    you somehow say all of the things i’m thinking and wouldn’t dare write about because i’m too chicken (or maybe because i know my mom would read it). it was almost as if you were reading my mind as you were writing this post. preach on, sista!
    annie
    http://www.paiduptop.com

  • Ms. Mindy

    January 6, 2011 | Reply

    You are SO RIGHT!!

  • Natalie

    January 6, 2011 | Reply

    Thank you for writing this. I think a lot of women needed to hear it :)

    and you look fabulous as always.

  • Sally

    January 6, 2011 | Reply

    Honest and witty, you had me laughing like always! Love this look, classic with a twist.

  • Trish

    January 6, 2011 | Reply

    Maegan…what a great post. I struggle with trying to balance my daily to-do list (full time job, care of 2 young girls, etc.) and intimacy with my husband. It seems like he is always getting the shaft;) I’m going to make a considerable effort to make more time for intimacy. I’m tucking this post away to pull out the next time I see a drought headed our way!

  • Juanette

    January 6, 2011 | Reply

    i.love.you.so.much.right.now!

    i totally agree with your tips but my problem is FINDING a man, preferably one with dark hair, who takes me to Vegas and whose dad gives great Christmas gifts…If you know someone let me know… ;)

  • melrod

    January 6, 2011 | Reply

    Love it! Honest and not holding back on anything.

    It’s so true though. I’m not even married, and sometimes I feel like it’s sometimes not on my “to-do” list. BUT us women do need to make our men happy, so sometimes you just got to take one for the team. Lol. J/K!

    p.s. you look gorgeous AS ALWAYS!!

    xoxo,
    MelRod

  • Fashion Momma

    January 6, 2011 | Reply

    First of all, OhMyGodILoveYou. But you knew that, already. I needed to hear this, for sure. I’m definitely one the “not on the top of my list” ones, with a toddler begging for my attention, a job I’m trying to love, and a blog that I probably work on too much. And poor hubs is like, “uh, HELLO?” So, I vow to do better. And I mean DO better.

    Second, I was reading through these comments and it’s so funny to me when people say, “I love your hair!” or “Great pictures!” because it’s so clear that they didn’t read the content. And that really drives me effing bonkers!

    <3 K

  • Taylor

    January 6, 2011 | Reply

    SO ABSO-FREAKING-LY TRUE!!! Ive been married 6 months, and we just had this convo a few nights ago!!!!

  • Niki

    January 6, 2011 | Reply

    I had this conversation with 2 men over the weekend and one of them rightly declared that vaginas run the world….so yes it’s definitely worth it’s weight in gold

  • brittneynikkole

    January 6, 2011 | Reply

    Love the outfit, as usual, but I’m head over heels for the sentiment of the post! I’d give anything to bone my man right now (pesky deployment keeping us both unboned) or see that “hey woman, time for sex” look on his face. I’m all about female empowerment but sometimes mama just wants to make her man happy (and I got say the happy always happens for both of us).

  • stacy

    January 6, 2011 | Reply

    couldn’t agree more!

    the husband and i are going on 13 years together and have rarely gone longer then 48 hours without making love.

    it’s certainly is the magic ingredient!

  • silvergirl

    January 6, 2011 | Reply

    cracking up at “the week of horror” may i steal your term
    my girlfriends and i are always talking about this issue
    we even did a girls retreat and studied a book about it one long weekend

  • Phoebe

    January 6, 2011 | Reply

    Such an honest account, had me laughing throughout.

  • Anonymous

    January 6, 2011 | Reply

    The “WEEK OF HORROR” – LOL This is so true!!! I really enjoyed reading this post. I am also a married woman of 2 years, and your words very much ring true. However, I have to agree with Anonymous from above who mentioned that there are some girls who’s husbands don’t want it daily or multiple times a week. And I relate to this because I think I have a higher libido than my husband does. In fact, last night I asked and he said No. Not only does it not make me feel sexy, it’s a rejection that affects my self-esteem. Sorry, I’m just venting and don’t mean to be a Debbie Downer. But maybe I should let my husband read this post and tell him that this is why I’M cranky! LOL I really appreciate your honestly and candidness. This is my first time ever commenting. I’ve never read such words that hit me at the heart. THANK YOU!!!

  • Anonymous

    January 6, 2011 | Reply

    ugh. TMI.

  • emily//thelesserpanda

    January 6, 2011 | Reply

    I’ve been following your blog for awhile, and sometimes I comment on your posts. But lately, I’ve noticed you have been posting blurry photos of yourself in your posts! (I wanted to email you but I couldn’t find your email on your blog)

    Please stop posting blurry photos of you, it detracts from your blog! You are clearly talented and beautiful… In addition you got a new dslr for Christmas… so please stop posting blurry photos. I want to see your beautiful face!

    Finally, I wanted to thank you for being so candid in your posts. It takes a lot of guts to be yourself and put your thoughts in your blog instead of hiding behind your outfit posts (like I do). I hope you have a wonderful 2011!!

  • Anonymous

    January 6, 2011 | Reply

    I really do think you are cool and beautiful and talented,and I love reading your blog. But for some people it isn’t like how you described. Look up vaginissmus sometime. For some women the act itself is totally altruistic and they get nothing out of it except pain. But because you love the person more than life itself you do it. But not every day. Not that any of this is your fault, I just want to raise awareness of this issue and try to reduce the stigma of not “making your man happy.” Sometimes it’s more than just a busy life.

  • Candyfloss

    January 6, 2011 | Reply

    Hi Maegan

    I am currently a passionate viewer of the series “Mad Men”. I appreciate it for its intelligent plot and also for its beautiful early 60ies aesthetics. The one thing that amazes me about it in a negative way is the full realization of how women were seen, treated etc. – each time I think to myself “I am so glad things have changed in that respect”.

    They obviously haven’t though – judging by your post. Or maybe that retro-wave is slowly infiltrating our minds too, not only our wardrobes?

    (No, I am NOT a radical feminist. Not even a mild one ;-) .

    To be honest, I find your post particularly cringe-worthy as it feels like you see yourself as such an open/liberal/taboo-breaking person (and a lot of your readers seem to agree with you) – when, in reality, the opposite is the case. I am truly stunned by the backwards-thinking!

    Please don’t interpret this as a personal judgement on you (I don’t know you and I’d never allow myself to judge you in that way) – but much rather as a healthy exchange of opinions.

    Greetings from the so-called “Old World” to the so-called “Land of the Free”

  • CessOviedo

    January 6, 2011 | Reply

    Loved the outfit as usual, but today I’m so thankful for the honesty, talking openly about sex is not so common not even in 2011, loved your point of view, wish I can remember this when I get married, I’ll call your for advise! haha

    http://blog.cessoviedo.com

  • Amanda Blair

    January 6, 2011 | Reply

    Girl can I get a hell yeah! Sex is SO important for any relationship and if that slips, you bet the love eventually will. I’m not married but I just told my friend my top three things for a happy relationship are: Great sex, amazing kissing and laughter. well, and you should be with your best friend! I love your blog and you <3

  • Angie

    January 6, 2011 | Reply

    oh Honey, I couldn’t have said it anyyyyy better myself!

  • Pretty Shiny Sparkly

    January 6, 2011 | Reply

    Oh my god I laughed so hard at this. it’s SO TRUE! I’m not married (yet) but I KNOW this is true just living in sin with my wonderful boyfriend.

    P.S. being a med student pretty much equals being married with 5 kids in terms of the time you have to have sex. It blows.

    ♥ Kristina, Pretty Shiny Sparkly

  • Anonymous

    January 6, 2011 | Reply

    These ideas definitely contribute to the stereotype that men want sex all the time. I found out the very hard way that all men aren’t like that. And not all penises immediately get excited when they see a naked woman. Even one they know and love. It’s been a tough idea to reconcile since I have a healthy, if not high, libido. So yes, while some women may be fighting their man off or struggling to keep up/provide, it’s definitely not that way in all cases. DEFINITELY not. For women struggling w/physical issues and men that just don’t want it as much as you do, I can relate to the latter. Because of the stereotype that men want sex always, I have felt very undesired and unattractive, expecting sex to be initiated all the time from my husband. Hopefully as things change for the better in our life they will also change in our sex life.

  • God's Favorite Shoes!

    January 6, 2011 | Reply

    Lemme tell me the single reason why we are friends (in my head)…because you use the word POON!

    That’s the word of the day for me…here are a few ways I plan to use it today…

    1. Hey, excuse my poon today. It’s not feeling well.
    2. Hey, you want some poon today?
    3. Ugh, my poon is sooo tired!
    4. Hmmph…I want spaghetti for lunch but I think my poon wants a hamburger.

    Hilarious…I really appreciate that you are stylish and when you write…it’s your voice!

  • daer0n

    January 6, 2011 | Reply

    Absolutely true.
    Though, I would much rather have sex once a month to be completely honest, sometimes I just want to cuddle because to me sex gets boring sometimes, it is about the same thing anyways – But yeah, that is the only thing that keeps them happy, unfortunately they are not too much into knitting to entertain themselves haha.

    Awesome post, love your honesty.
    Great outfit too, I loove those pants!

  • PeaceLoveApplesauce

    January 6, 2011 | Reply

    Love, love, love that you put this out there!! It’s so very true.. every word! I agree!! All you need to do is keep it simple to keep your man happy! Xoxoxo!!

  • Tierney

    January 6, 2011 | Reply

    Your thoughts about marriage are so true! I remember expressing something similar to a classmate in college, and she called me “a feminist’s worst nightmare”. Oh well–I bet my marriage would > her marriage. :)

    Awesome outfit. I’m always ripping the hems out of my pants–I’m 5’11, and inseams are such a problem for me.

    PS. Your hair is amazing. AMAZING.

    xoxo
    tier
    rubywoolovesyou.com

  • drollgirl

    January 6, 2011 | Reply

    it’s not that hard to fit it in!!!!

    SACRED POON!

    girl, you are so funny, and this is all so true! give up the gold ladies! lol!!!!!! i am dying to give up mine as SOON AS POSSIBLE. lol

  • janet.

    January 6, 2011 | Reply

    Hey!.. I been reading your blog for a while…and I love it!.. it’s funny,witty and I always get an idea on what to wear and how to wear it.. after reading the comments on todays.. of course everyone has a diff. opinion.. that’s how the world works… but I think your very right… I just got married 4 months ago… and its pretty high on the list… lol.. but it’s also very fun.. and we do often talk about.. is it always gonna be this way?.. we want it to be… but yes as life goes on… that is exactly what happends you get busy with life… but you always should make time… for you and for him…
    Thanks for your amazing opinions!

  • erin

    January 6, 2011 | Reply

    ***criiinggeee****

    not because of the content, i’m cool with talking frankly about sex, i’m just not so cool with the idea that i’m here to give it up to my husband whenever he wants… that view really saddens me.

    i’m not his captured/prepaid sex object… i’m a partner in life.

  • Jesslyn

    January 6, 2011 | Reply

    I could not agree more!! I’m giving you a standing ovation right now! Too many women use it as a weapon. They forget that men are wired differently and have different needs that must be met. I hate when I hear my girlfriends say things like, “He’ll get it when I decide he gets it!” How selfish is that? He works hard to meet my needs (listening to me, making sure I get a break from the kids, etc.) and I also give 110% in return to meet his needs.

  • Mishy

    January 6, 2011 | Reply

    i always enjoy how you toss in some fashion with your thought provoking/conversation-starting blogs every now and then… haha. really though, as always, love the fashion and i love your commentary. but sometimes i need my sleepytimejustwannawatchtvandeatsomecheesepuffssoleavemealoneplease time. but yeah, i get what you’re saying.
    as long as you don’t get deep into politics, we’re good. i have a feeling we’d disagree and i’d be so sad.

  • Bloggers Abode

    January 6, 2011 | Reply

    A lot of this is true but I think it also needs to be said that this type of sex life is more easily maintained when you don’t have children. Your sex life, when a compatible one, should be a priority for sure but it will need to take a backseat sometimes and not be as much of a priority. If sex is the the only cure for what ails you, you need to expand your thinking. When you have kids, it’s just not actually possible physically to have sex for awhile so you better have some healthy replacement tools in place to survive the lull. And I’m not talking blow jobs. Believe me, I don’t care how much you like sex, after having a baby,for a few months you are going to be all kinds of a HOT MESS and the last thing you want is a d$#@ in your mouth. And a woman shouldn’t feel guilty or a lesser babe for putting herself and her new baby first for awhile. Just my two cents…

    XoXoX

  • Gwen

    January 6, 2011 | Reply

    OMG!!! You are cracking me up!!! I haven’t heard the word POON in so freaking long!! This is why I enjoy you and your blog so much!!!

    Honestly…I don’t give it up as often as I could and when we fight I know damn good and well if I had just given him a piece of ass all would have been fine in the world. I started this year with the plan to be better at everything I do and being a wife is one thing I do. Guess that means I’ll have to do the dirty a few times a week now. And you are right there are times I just am too busy but I wonder if I can get away with multitasking. Blogging and sex at once…is it possible? :D

    I love the outfit too!!! Every time I see your Speedy I am torn in my decision on which bag to buy next. :)

    XOXO

  • ...love Maegan

    January 6, 2011 | Reply

    Health issues & post baby delivery issues are obviously exceptions to the rules my lady luuuvers ;)

    …and also, some men probably don’t think about sex as much as my husband does …so this should be taken as more of a metaphor for whatever it is your man is into or wishes he had more of.

  • Mindy

    January 6, 2011 | Reply

    This is where I love and hate the 3 hour distance between my boyfriend and me ;-)

    It’s nice to have a break so I can get the rest of the life crap done but it sucks when both of us NEED it and know we won’t see each other for a week or two. Luckily, we plan for the “week of horror” to be one of the weeks we don’t see each other.

  • Stephanie

    January 6, 2011 | Reply

    Hysterical and sooooo true!! I’ve felt bad in the past for “being too busy” or “too tired” but at the end of it all…it’s so meaningful and really takes NO time at all!

    Great ballsy post!

  • Nora

    January 6, 2011 | Reply

    Preach. You are so right. Just last night I was thisclose to saying, “I’m too tired…” but I didn’t, and it was, of course, lovely and relaxing for us both. It’s so easy to slip into the bad habit of avoiding sex. No one wins! And it’s not like it takes that long.

  • Loren

    January 6, 2011 | Reply

    It’s so refreshing to hear you talk about a subject that NONE of my other daily blog reads touch on. Sex. Your fashion, DIY projects, and just your vibe are awesome! I look forward to reading your blog everyday. Thanks Maegan!!

  • Elle Sees

    January 6, 2011 | Reply

    every 3 days!luckyyyyy.
    i’m the rare every day or shoot, once a week and i’d be happy. once or twice a month over here :(

  • Tiffany

    January 6, 2011 | Reply

    This is probably the most valuable advice a newly married girl can recieve, so thanks. I mean, I knew long ago that the way to my man’s heart is on his penis, but it’s good to know that a bombshell like you shares my sentiment in being ok with once-every-3-days sex. I thought I was the only one!

  • Summer

    January 6, 2011 | Reply

    wow! this color combo is amazing!!! I love the 70s vibe! I’m so glad i found your blog!
    I’m your new follower – i hope you come visit me soon :) I move to Australia in just 10 days!!!

    http://www.passportsandprada.com

    xoxo Summer

  • Elissa

    January 6, 2011 | Reply

    This is so, so true. My husband and I had this exact same conversation last night, so your timing couldn’t be better. I understand that for men, sex is their #1 love language – that’s how they best feel loved and how they express intimacy. For women, however, it’s usually not at the top of the list. It creates a strange, often uncomfortable dichotomy. I’ve been married for twelve years and just cannot have sex when I don’t want to, even if it is to please him. But, at the same time, I know how much it means to him, and how much he needs it. This is challenging to resolve.

    I applaud you for being so up-front and honest about the topic.

    dresswithcourage.com

  • Nadine

    January 6, 2011 | Reply

    Love this outfit.
    Love this post.

  • Jessi

    January 6, 2011 | Reply

    The “sacred poon”??? Bahahahah!! SO true, yo. I personally call it the Golden Palace of the Himalayas ;)

    As usual, I have serious Maegan hair envy. SERIOUS.

    xoxo J

  • Anonymous

    January 7, 2011 | Reply

    So true!! If more ppl did that maybe the men wouldn’t stray. S’all i’m sayin!

  • Anonymous

    January 7, 2011 | Reply

    that LV is to die for!

    XOXO,

    http://outfitidentifier.com/

  • Sarah O.

    January 7, 2011 | Reply

    Sooo true! My live-in boyfriend is the same way! I think you’ve discoved the secret to how we’ve been able to tolerate each other for so long!

  • Penny Nicole

    January 7, 2011 | Reply

    i love your honesty!

  • Dusk

    January 7, 2011 | Reply

    You are ALL kinds of fabulous!

    (Yes there are many types and levels and you sister… are fabulous in all!)

    I’m nodding, laughing and agreeing wholeheartedly… although I must admit that I can get a bit ornery if my “sacred poon” hasn’t been ‘worshipped’ for a few days… !

  • Poppy

    January 7, 2011 | Reply

    I love that outfit, very chic!

    And you had me cracking up with that post…I love when you are real and uncensored like that. Men are very very very simple creatures, not hard to please at all.

  • NG

    January 7, 2011 | Reply

    I do consider myself a radical feminist, and I think this post was awesome. I’ve been following and enjoying your blog for about a year or so, but now I really love it. Do you read Dan Savage’s column from The Stranger here in Seattle?
    http://www.thestranger.com/seattle/SavageLove?oid=6164831
    He – as a happily committed gay man – would definitely agree with you.

  • jennifer~the stylish housewife

    January 7, 2011 | Reply

    i have been looking for a belt like that for weeks! thank you SO much for sharing! i just ordered it. i am so glad it wasnt one of your items that you have had forever =) i would LOVE to see in your closet.

    p.s. i added you to my blogroll…would LOVE if i could be added to yours. i know im kinda asking for something for nothing since my brand new little blog only dreams to be as successful as yours! =)

  • Yari

    January 7, 2011 | Reply

    Thanks for the post. As always a great look captured in great photos. And you’re right. The more I deal with men, the more I’m convinced that they are simple creatures. It doesn’t take all that much to make them happy (as opposed to us women, we have much more complicated needs and nuances).

  • passionsontopofpassions

    January 7, 2011 | Reply

    your honesty is hilarious! and i didnt think anyone else still used the term ‘bone’ but me!

  • Anonymous

    January 7, 2011 | Reply

    All this talk of “give your husband what he wants so he’ll stop pestering you” is fine and dandy, but what of us wives who are the ones having to beg our husbands to find the time? What of us who would LOVE to have sex once a day, or even more?

    As a woman with a real and fiery libido, essays like these are the ones that make me feel shamed for wanting sex “as much as a man” or for wanting to explore my sexuality rather often. MUST it be a chore to cross off the weekly list? So many women treat it this way, it’s extremely disheartening for those of us who are in the opposite situation.

  • Anonymous

    January 7, 2011 | Reply

    Hi Maegan, I have been reading your blog for almost a year now, and I just wanted to let you know that I think you are an amazing, down-to-earth, and wonderfully hilarious woman! You are a great role model in my eyes and I can only hope to be a little like you when I get older (I’m only 18, hehe). I wish you all the best in everything! <3

  • Breakfast at tiffany's

    January 7, 2011 | Reply

    I’ve read all the comments and I agree with one (maybe 2) of u who talked about how hard it is to have sex when you really don’t want to. Especially if he has pissed me off, insulted my family, forgotten to pay an important bill…etc or if I feel sick, tired, exhausted from work, or I’m asleep.

    Also, if u aren’t married, you CANNOT relate! Sorry, was single til 32, now married 6 1/2 years. It’s totally different being married. We also have a young child. Again add to the layers of sexual disconnect. So, as much as I wish I was hanging from the ceiling fan twice a day, doing stripper dances on my hubby’s lap, and learning new BJ techniques…I’m just not feelin it (but I wish I was). I know it’s a job-requirement, so I will try a Jedi mind trick or something.

  • .life is reediculous.

    January 7, 2011 | Reply

    i’m sure every married woman, myself included, knows all to well the crabbiness that comes from a man when he hasn’t gotten laid. men really are pretty damn simple. gotta love ‘em.

  • AndreaLeigh

    January 7, 2011 | Reply

    Where you writing this to me?

    Seriously, I feel like I spend my days doing the million and one things that just have to be done. Work, baby, dinner, cleaning, blog, emails… I’m overwhelmed. And my husband, bless his heart, spends his days chasing me around saying “come on! let’s do it!” while I say things like “I’d be more into sex if you’d just SWEEP THE DAMN FLOOR.”

    Having a baby has really changed our sex life. I have no desire whatsoever for sex these days. Part of it is that I’m tired, some of resentfulness that I am the primary caregiver for our son, and some of it is hormonal. My husband, on the other hand, recently informed me that he’s “in my sexual prime, WOMAN!”

    My suggestion to get a girlfriend on the side didn’t go over well. I was only halfway kidding.

    I know I just need to suck it up (ha) but sometimes it just seems like SO MUCH WORK.

  • Ashley

    January 7, 2011 | Reply

    Dooooode.

    I needed to read this.

    THANK YOU!

  • sandra

    January 7, 2011 | Reply

    im not married or have a bf or a gf or whatever, but this is hilarious because it’s so true. you’re so right.
    i love how you just write and i would love to have a conversation with you.
    you rock.

  • Milly

    January 7, 2011 | Reply

    OMG! This killed me to read. How bleeding refreshing and honest a view from inside marriage. And yes, even only 6months into my own marriage and I already agree with you on all points.

    Thanks for braving the storm and writing this.

  • Kelly B.

    January 7, 2011 | Reply

    this is the BEST thing i’ve read on the interwebs in a LONG LONG time. it’s so refreshing to see someone be so HONEST!

    “the sacred poon” BAHAHA

  • Lauren

    January 7, 2011 | Reply

    Funny and totally true! This is coming from a woman who hasn’t slept in 48 hours (6 month old baby) and still found the energy to give it up last night. Thanks for the hilarious post! Great outfit!

  • simplychic

    January 7, 2011 | Reply

    love it! the outfit and the post. i appreciate and admire your candor :) :)

  • Melanie

    January 7, 2011 | Reply

    SOOOOOO TRUE MEGAN!!! PLEASE EDUCATE WOMEN!!! You cannot expect to go to bed every night with your hubby wearing an over-sized mickey mouse sweatshirt with holes on it and pajama bottoms with bleach spots and chicken grease on your pajama pants…MEN ARE VISUAL! lingerie only costs like 10.00 at wal-mart!!! Seriously!!! You are a woman, embrace your sexuality..your husband will love it!!! Megan, girl, I love you for this post. Please posts more tips like this for keeping a happy husband and happy marriage!!! (Love you outfit!!!)

  • Marie a la Mode

    January 8, 2011 | Reply

    Love your blog, Meagan! You have great style. I’m your newest follower and look forward to your upcoming posts!

    Hugs from Canada : )

  • Marie a la Mode

    January 8, 2011 | Reply

    I realized I just spelled your name wrong, I’m sorry! I hate when people do that to me (I get Mary and Maria a LOT) and it’s so annoying so I apologize!

  • Anonymous

    January 8, 2011 | Reply

    I just unsubscribed to your blog because of this post.

  • Nano

    January 8, 2011 | Reply

    “I just unsubscribed to your blog because of this post. “

    While I’m not so extreme in my reaction, I have to admit I’m tempted. I’d say “stick to fashion” but apparently all the silly little things that follow your blog are perfectly content to live in the 50′s, so… whatever.

    All I can say is reading this made an otherwise enjoyable day end on a shitty note.

  • Asu

    January 8, 2011 | Reply

    I must say that I find this extremely degrading and WRONG.While you surely cannot expect any spouse (man or woman,it doesn’t change) to go for months without sex,you also can’t expect any spouse to give it if he/she doesn’t feel like it for any reason.We don’t buy our spouse with marriage,we don’t buy sex right for every moment we feel like having sex,and we should all learn that life sometimes just put you in a situation when you just can’t put sex high on your priorities.What shocks me the most is that so many women almost seems to think that if a wife doesn’t give it enough,the man is justified if he get it elsewhere.That’s insane.this is not 1950.Whetever he had enough sex at home or not,a cheater is a pig,period.The same is valid if the cheater is a woman.I have a very high sexual drive.Last year my husband opened his own bakery,and has been working 13/14 ours a day,every single day since.Needlees to say,sex isn’t exactly that high on his list,lately.Have I been complaining,being a witch,or looked around because of this?Definetely not.He is building our future,and I’m only grateful.I know he want,but is just too tired.I’m not going to make him feeling bad because fo this,and I expect the same respect from him,in case it happens I am the one in a bad moment.
    We do not buy our spouse sexual favours,neither they buy ours.Marriage is a partnership,not sexual companionship.

  • Tiffany

    January 8, 2011 | Reply

    The people who say they are offended b/c of this post: Part of what is so neat about Maegan’s blog is that she is a REAL person. She has hang-ups, frustrations, opinions & quirks. Some of her outfits I don’t like (most I love) but I wouldn’t “quit” her blog b/c I don’t like one outfit! It’s one opinion people, not who she is!

  • Anonymous

    January 8, 2011 | Reply

    I love this blog, I respect your opinion, but feel that I must speak up as someone who works with abused women. Sex should be a mutual decision between two consenting adults. If your choice is to “consent” every time your husband grunts in your direction, that’s fine. However, I work with women who have been, essentially, raped within their own relationship because they believe that it is their marital duty to perform for their husbands, whether they want to have sex or not. I think this is a great read for women who are empowered and in healthy relationships, but statements such as “you’ve got to give up the sacred poon”, and “men at their core need to FEEL LIKE A MAN” may be dangerous in the wrong hands.

    Also, leaving one person in control of an entire relationship’s sexuality can have dire consequences on even the healthiest of relationships. If a husband gets cranky without a day or two of sex, then what kind of shape is the relationship going to be in if something were to happen, and the wife is unable to perform? A friend of mine ended up with cervical cancer, and between operations and chemo, was forced to watch her relationship self-destruct because her husband couldn’t do without regular sex.

    When my partner and I have sex, it is a 50/50 decision, and I would never just “roll over and let him do his thing”. My partner and I both deserve this mutual respect, and have a very active and healthy sex life. However, should my partner or I ever decide to decrease the sexuality in our relationship, I know we are there to support each other- flood or drought.

  • my name is Amanda

    January 8, 2011 | Reply

    I adore this blog, which I’ve been reading for over two years. I love reading Maegan’s thoughts about her life and checking out her outfit ideas, admiring her style, and learning from her DIYs. She has been inspirational to me, in regard to fashion, truly! So even though I don’t completely agree with her on the topic of sex, I will definitely not be unfollowing her blog. Plenty of women of my acquaintance and friendship feel the same way about sex and relationships.

    I don’t disagree with Maegan for voicing her own experiences with love and sex. But since this is a popular blog, I just want to throw my hat into the “many women want it MORE than men” ring, to add to the voices out there who feel the same way. I loathe the stereotype that men want sex more than women, and that it’s more important to men. I believe that our society teaches women that they must be the gatekeepers of sex, and enforces the notion that women who enthusiastically embrace sex are sluts/whores. So psychologically, it’s alot harder for women to let go of that stigma, and explore making sex into something that makes them happier. In addition, women are more likely to experience pain from sex (and Maegan acknowledged that), and less likely to experience pleasure – it’s simply more difficult for women to have an orgasm. It’s not fair. Added to that, the usually disproportionate responsibility of women to care for children and the home, and it’s not surprising that women are less likely to ask for sex than men. (Part of the problem, in fact, might be resentment over the disproportionate responsibilities in the home, as another commenter suggested.)

    All things being equal, all humans are different. All humans have different needs and sex drives. The fact that men have historically been allowed to pursue sex and that women have historically been burdened with more work at home, and physical issues, does not mean that “all men naturally want it more than all women.”

    I am a woman who wants sex more often than my boyfriend wants sex, and reading or hearing from women who complain (I don’t think Maegan was complaining, though) about their men harassing them for sex all the time, to me, is like complaining about having too much money, or having too much time for traveling, or whatever awesome thing that I wish I had more of. And it can be very damaging to one’s self esteem (though I think I’m getting over it) to be a woman who is turned down when she offers sex – because it’s “supposed” to be the opposite. When Maegan wrote that her husband gets a little crabby when it’s been a few days, I thought it was soooo funny – I have said the EXACT same thing about myself, when speaking about this to my boyfriend.

    The solution, barring physical/health issues – is I think, communication, understanding and yes, generosity. No one should feel pressured to do it if it is explicitely against their wishes. But sex is important in a relationship, so while it is NOT okay to guilt a partner and harass them into doing something against their will (and rape/assault OF COURSE are crimes and *completely unacceptable*), it IS okay to ask that the partner who wants it less to try to occasionally make the effort – whether they be male or female. It’s about loving each other and caring for each other’s needs, and trying to meet them when at all possible. And perhaps, the person who wants it more could do more to facilitate the person who wants it less – by helping to make it more pleasurable, or giving them more time by taking some of their responsibilities/shouldering their stress.

    Which is think is a great conversation for all couples, actually.

  • Anonymous

    January 9, 2011 | Reply

    Wow I can’t believe I just decided to check in and see whats new on your blog and well this EXACT little situation has been causing me some serious stress and worry – Ive been feeling a little bit of a major slacker when it comes to keeping the bf “happy” and well now I feel so much better knowing Im not alone in the world and that all couples go through this! Thank you sooooo much!!

  • Mara

    January 9, 2011 | Reply

    Maegan I applaud you! You speak the truth and state your opinions. I so agree with this. Sex should be talked about and it’s a very very important part of marriage. (It makes everyone happy..or should!) Also, I’ve never heard that song or seen the video but I LOVE it! So hot haha

  • April

    January 9, 2011 | Reply

    yes!! Give up the gold ladies!!! to your hubs of course! Love your honesty and funny spin on the glue that keeps a good marriage together!

  • Nano

    January 9, 2011 | Reply

    “It’s one opinion people, not who she is! “

    Your opinions define you as a person. It is you opinions that make you who you are.

    I’m not sure I want to follow someone who 1) thinks that it’s fine to insist that women have sex when they don’t want to so they can satisfy their husbands because their husbands “bought’ the “rights” to their vaginas through marriage and 2) that men are sex-obsessed, “simple” creatures.

    Frankly, I find both assertions insulting and degrading, and am also shocked that the community behind this blog seems to agree on both points.

  • Anonymous

    January 10, 2011 | Reply

    As a married woman, this post offends me. I agree with “Nano’s” comments and I am honestly surprised that SO many women in the blogging community agree that it is a woman’s job to satisfy her husband. Marriage is a partnership. Two people. Equals. Yes, there are times when you don’t feel like sex and then you do it and it ends up making you and your partner happy. BUT, I think it is poor advice to suggest that women “give it up” to their men whenever they want it. Where lies the dignity in that?
    Although I don’t agree with your stance here, I DO admire you for opening up this conversation. The topic should be talked about.

  • Huda

    January 10, 2011 | Reply

    Nano: “Your opinions define you as a person. It is you opinions that make you who you are.

    I’m not sure I want to follow someone who 1) thinks that it’s fine to insist that women have sex when they don’t want to so they can satisfy their husbands because their husbands “bought’ the “rights” to their vaginas through marriage and 2) that men are sex-obsessed, “simple” creatures.”

    Hodan: This speaks from your own inadequacy about sex and sexual issues that Meagan free choice to express her own experience and relationship with her hubby on her own bloody blog.

    I’m not married and is often called ultra-feminist, yet I do not find anything she wrote on here offensive or out of bound. Hell, from reading some of you, it sounds like she said: women should just lie down and think of England.

    1. Meagan is not advocating for rape or sexual assault

    2. Meagan is not saying we should put our sexual pleasure on the way side.

    3. Meagan is expressing her own experience with her partner. She never said men are the only one entitled to sexual pleasure or access to your body.

    4. Marriage is a 2 way street and some political correctness will not stop basic human biology and need of your partner regardless of their gender.

    I hope Meagan continues to freely discuss whatever she wants and anyone who has a problem can just leave instead of diatribe of some manufactured outrage.

  • Asu

    January 10, 2011 | Reply

    The fact that people use freedom of speech as an argument to defend Maegan post,yet tell who don’t agree with her to basically shut up amaze me.Hello hypocrisy?
    People who disagree (including me) actually brought up a tons of valid points,while most of those who agree just nodded and smiled,telling her how she is right,but no one tried to acknowledge what we wrote and tried to really have a constructive discussion about the topic.
    But if you want to think that your partner “buy” you with marriage,hey,that’s your choice.

  • Anonymous

    January 10, 2011 | Reply

    Interesting that you don’t mention career as one of a man’s priorities. For many men I know career is essential to their sense of masculinity and feeling that they contribute to the world.

    I have lived with my partner for over 10 years. I am certain that he would be very unhappy with the idea that I would have sex with him just to satisfy his urges when I wasn’t totally into it.

    Although it is fine to express your own opinion and state it as such, it is unhelpful to generalize and offer this as advice.

  • Yari

    January 10, 2011 | Reply

    I agree with Asu and others who disagree with Meagan’s post. It’s made me rethink what I wrote on a previous post. While I know that most men have an almost insatiable need for sex, it (as well as marriage) does not give him the right to force his partner into sex if she does not want it. IT SHOULD BE AMONG CONSENTING ADULTS.
    Otherwise, it becomes rape. So please, let’s stop the hiprocrisy.

    Honestly, I would hate to be married to someone who would get cranky with me just because he hasn’t had “it” in a while.

  • Yari

    January 10, 2011 | Reply

    And yes, I find this Megan’s post offensive as well.

  • Down and Out Chic

    January 11, 2011 | Reply

    maegan- this post made me chuckle because i knew it would bring about some interesting debate as people get fired up about politics, religion and yes, SEX. i think your post was great. it brought a smile to my face and i found myself nodding through many parts of it. cheers to your honesty!

  • Down and Out Chic

    January 11, 2011 | Reply

    oh, and i also wanted to mention that i too have worked with many abused women as a social worker (this is in response to one of the many anon comments above) and i don’t see how your post got misconstrued into a rape scenario. i think it’s OBVIOUS to anyone reading this post that having sex forced upon a person is immoral, illegal, degrading, repulsive and wrong. no one is arguing that point.

  • yours truly dear

    January 12, 2011 | Reply

    this post is not only funny but also 100% true. my husband even read it, thought it was funny, and thought it was true. so basically, you speak the truth and everyone who thinks otherwise can suck it ;]

  • Anonymous

    January 12, 2011 | Reply

    I wrote the “rape” post. To reiterate, I do not believe that Meagan’s post was condoning rape in any way. However, in the eyes of a woman in a unhealthy relationship, the post may may justify unwanted sexual advances from a partner. (or, even worse, by the partner making the unwanted advances). Point being, the post may be misconstrued in the wrong hands.
    It’s important to realize that a blog of this nature is not only read by healthy women with healthy minds in healthy relationships.

  • Yari

    January 12, 2011 | Reply

    yours truly dear: People like you are f***** up.

  • BESOS LYNN

    March 2, 2011 | Reply

    I just discovered your blog! I am just scolling down the blog looking and reading your post and then wham! this particular post, speaks to me! I am not alone, why do I always think I am living this unique life, that no one else would understand? I love this post, thanks for sharing. It made me laugh and is so relatable, I will be sharing this with my Mr. this evening!
    besos,lynn

Leave a Reply