What I’m Wearing…
* Title: Justin Timberlake ‘Mirrors’… The vacancy that sat in my heart, Is a space that now you hold… And I can’t help but stare ’cause I see truth somewhere in your eyes
… You were right here all along… It’s like you’re my mirror… My mirror staring back at me
I have been looking forward to this Summer – basically, since last Summer ended. And just the other day I realized, it was here – it IS here. I am smack in the middle of sunny days and warm summer nights, and because my days and nights are so busy, filled with work projects, I almost didn’t even notice that what I’ve been longing for since last year, is here. Now.
Sometimes it’s crazy to find yourself exactly where you wanted to be, yet somehow desire something completely different in the present moment. Maybe it’s human nature. Maybe it’s that we don’t realize what we thought we wanted is not what we actually want or need until we get it and it’s not exactly how we thought it would be. In those moments though, it’s only awareness that allows us to see that we’re responsible for how our lives turn out and that we really do create our own reality.
I was terrified of braving the winter alone last year, and it was definitely as challenging as I thought it would be, but it was filled with a million fun moments too. But there’s a certain peace and calm that comes with summer, for me anyway… and even if it’s all in my mind, the reality of it is that it’s “real” to me. Our perspective on every situation and how we choose to act or react to life’s uncertainty moves us into new realms of possibilities or – can keep us stuck in one place, forever repeating the past.
It takes a moment of awareness to look at our present situation and see that life is actually giving us exactly what we want all the time. But what we wanted six months ago, a year ago, even 5-10 years ago, is different from what we want now. But sometimes we can’t see that our current situation is reflecting all the thoughts and desires we’ve put out into the universe in the past.
I’m grateful to be able to recognize my own faults and mistakes so that I can choose to walk different paths in life. It’s our failures that teach us more than our successes, but if we never evaluate our choices, it’s easy to feel like a victim of circumstances rather than a creators of destiny.
Looking back at this time last summer, I was chaotic, unsure, excited, worried, buzzing, scared, alone – and all my desires for my future were grounded in those emotions.
This summer – I feel far more balanced, certain, calm, sure, aware, and ready for all the new life adventures ahead of me. I can only hope that the goals and dreams and desires I’m in search of now, which are rooted in these new emotions, will manifest in ways far greater than I can even imagine. I can only hope my future is greater than my past and that the present moment will always be perfect.
Happy Monday Lovecats!
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