I LOVED this quick TedTalk by Sarah Knight, author of The Life-Changing Magic of Not Giving a F*ck on mental decluttering, learning how to say no without feeling guilty, setting boundaries, and giving fewer f*cks using honesty and politeness.
Sometimes it’s difficult to say no to things you don’t want to do. You feel guilty for not wanting to go. You don’t want to let people down. But sometimes, for your own sanity, and to prioritize your own life and time, you just have to say no.
There are a few key moments in my life where I remember having to say no to events but it started way back when I was in my early twenties and dealing with major panic and anxiety. I had to say no, because I honestly just couldn’t do it. And back then, I felt guilty about it… so I would say yes, worry and stress out about it until the day of the event, and finally end up canceling at the last minute. But I HATED feeling like a flake, so I decided I was just going to have to say no up front to save myself from all the mental f*ckery.
When I started my blog so many years ago, like any business or passion, I devoted all my time and energy to it, and again – but for different reasons, I had to say no to anything that would take time away from it. I learned though, that it was much easier to say no to something when you had “work” as an “excuse”… and the guilt about not showing up lessened.
When all my friends were getting pregnant, having baby showers, throwing birthday parties for their kids, and I was in the baby blues about NOT being able to get pregnant, yet again, I had to bow out of events. The emotional roller coaster was too much to handle, and to protect myself from it, I had to say no.
But through it all, and quite accidentally, I learned how to set boundaries for myself and for my time. I learned to stop feeling guilty, even if I felt I was letting others down, because my sanity and my time were worth more to me than the worry about the judgement that came if I didn’t show up.
Sarah Knight’s book, The Life-Changing Magic of Not Giving a F*ck has been out for a few years, and I’ve even seen it floating around social media for a while now, but it was watching her TedTalk that really made me want to read it. Maybe I already don’t give a f*ck, but maybe she’s got a few more insightful tips to help me feel a little less like an a**hole when I do.
Decide which activity brings more joy and allocate your F*ck Budget Bucks accordingly
1. Make a list of everything that’s cluttering up your mental barn… All the impositions on your time, energy and money.
2. Decide what annoys you.
3. Stop giving your F*cks.
Happy Monday Lovecats!
* Stop giving your f*cks