Cold, ‘Cause She Has Been Here Before

winter style in the snow - casual outfit

What I’m Wearing…

* Ivory cords by BLANK Denim -a few years old – I loved the fit so much I bought them in 4 colors!
* Lace up sweatshirt by Sincerely Jules ( last season )
* Furry beanie (from years ago)
* Vintage faux fur coat was my Grandma’s
* Winette sunglasses by Barton Perreira
* Sorel Tivoli snow boots

* Title: Camila Cabello – She Loves ControlCold, ’cause she has been here before… She doesn’t cry anymore, no looking back… Bold, you know she lives for the thrill… You know she lusts for the kill

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I have to say… as positive as I usually am, as strong-willed and driven as I mostly find myself to be, lately it has been difficult to stay afloat mentally.

It’s just… there’s so much.

Yet, I’m so utterly grateful because…

There’s so much.

I didn’t realize how long everything would take… so long I find myself doubting my past decisions.

I didn’t realize that all the changes I put forth, all the steps forward I thought I was taking, would take so long to realize, to finalize, to settle…

But I was settled and I was bored.

So I suppose I didn’t want to be settled… and now in the middle of it all, it’s rather – – unsettling.

It’s too much.

I need closure. I need openings. I need to move forward. I feel stuck and with very little control.

I find myself looking for new things to control while either procrastinating on the things I “should be” doing and/or trying to be patient on all the things I can’t be doing any more on.

It rarely feels like I’m doing enough. Yet every day is too much.

I have yet to figure out a proper routine or schedule since 2016. I have yet to find balance as well.

I hope it’s all coming soon really. I can’t take much more of it.

But I’m happy.

Stressed out beyond belief, beyond any kind of stress and pressure I’ve ever felt in my life prior to this moment in time. The weight of it all is so heavy it keeps trying to push me down and it wins sometimes.

Also, it’s winter.

I rarely cheer up until the first week of March.

I think that’s when it’s all going to happen anyway, whether I’m patient or not, in control or wildly chaotic.

It’s there. I feel it. I see it. It’s happening. It’s coming. It’s definitely in the air. All of it.

But really, I’m happy… and that’s what’s so confusing about it all.

Happy Thursday Lovecats!

* Find all my Style Posts here

LA native & lifestyle blogger Maegan Tintari writes daily at ...love Maegan.com sharing beauty & style secrets, including fashion DIYs, how-to nail art manicures, hair tutorials, recipes & home decorating ideas, as well as a look into her personal life, her journey & battle with infertility & recent relocation to the mountains by a lake in search of a better life with her adorable French Bulldog brothers, Trevor and Randy.

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