Now You’re Just Somebody That I Used To Know

sitting on the steps, jeans and a blazer, lace-up oxfords, zappos shoes, louis vuitton bag, fall style, love maegan tintari

What I’m Wearing…

* Vintage Ralph Lauren blazer (cute similar style here)
* DIY Pearl Encrusted V-Neck Tee
* Paige Jeans
* Vintage Ralph Lauren cognac belt
* Gucci sunglasses
* Tiffany pendant necklace
* Louis VuittonLooping MM Shoulder Bag
* Vintage hair bow clip
* Trotters lace ups from Zappos ( see them here too in my last fall look )

* Title: Gotye – Somebody That I Used To Know (feat. Kimbra) …told myself that you were right for me, but felt so lonely in your company… but that was love and it’s an ache I still remember… I’ll admit that I was GLAD when IT WAS OVER.

fall style, jeans and a blazer, love maegan tintari

OCTOBER 10 2018

We walked up to a long table parallel to the bench and lined with chairs and in under a minute were told to sit, just as the 5 or so couples had done before us. I brought documents proving my defense and I didn’t know if I should set my bags on the table or the floor next to me… I was more awkward than nervous and suddenly it seemed as if there were only three of us in the courtroom; the judge my ex-husband and me.

We were waiting forever for our turn, watching case after case go before us, feeling like we were in an episode of Parks and Recreation or some shit, but on the Spanish channel, with subtitles. The pettiness that results at the end of a marriage is sad… like the one young couple whose car had been repossessed but was still owed on; he wanted her to pay for 56% of it and she would only agree to pay for 50% (half) which seemed fair to me …but at least it was interesting to watch the cases that came before us, and I even thought that maybe I had learned a few things, though when it came down to it, they helped me none.

At the break I stayed in my seat and the sheriff told me that we would be next, that since we were sitting just one chair apart and so friendly with each other, they thought that I was still waiting for somebody. I wasn’t.

The judge read over the information and then looking up at me said: “We are here to enforce the selling of the house as per the divorce papers…” and then with a judgmental shrug basically asked… “so, what are you doing here?”

I felt defeated before I even began. I could feel my throat begin to close and my face contort and water fill my eyes. I was trying desperately not to cry. She looked down and spoke again but I turned my head and bit my lip as I heard her voice but I couldn’t make out her words any longer.

I knew my fate at that point. I lost. He won.

I came back to when she asked if I had sent in a response declaration, “I had”, I answered and she began reading it on her computer monitor. Or so I thought. The more I actually think about it, the more I think she probably was just reading his pathetic lying bullshit declaration.

“I should have paid for a lawyer to come in and handle this for me” Is all I could think.

Even though I have woken up in a sweat each morning since that day arguing with myself, reliving the moment in a way that I think would have been better, gone in my favor instead of his, and rehearsing what I should have said and beating myself up for NOT saying it, wondering how I could have defended myself better, etc., etc., etc., each time it ends with, you have to sell your house and give him half.

“What a damn waste of time” I thought.

Seconds after hearing this I had one of those movie-moments… I left reality, went into my head and saw myself lunging to my left in a slow-motion-twist-flying movement where my fist pummels that motherfucker’s face in so hard, spit and blood slowly fly from his mouth as he falls to the floor limp and unconscious… but I didn’t.

Instead I looked at him sobbing, and asked: WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS?!?!

fall style, warm tones, lace ups, louis vuitton bag, jeans and a blazer

fall style, jeans and a blazer, love maegan tintari

Oh, remember my Sunday House Crush? This is the house!

See the teddy bears in the window!?!? That’s the incredible hand-painted-secret-garden-peter-rabbit room.


* I know, too many photos today, I just LOVE this house.

Happy Friday Lovecats!

* Find all my Style Posts here

LA native & lifestyle blogger Maegan Tintari writes daily at ...love Maegan.com sharing beauty & style secrets, including fashion DIYs, how-to nail art manicures, hair tutorials, recipes & home decorating ideas, as well as a look into her personal life, her journey & battle with infertility & recent relocation to the mountains by a lake in search of a better life with her adorable French Bulldog brothers, Trevor and Randy.

7 Comments

  • Anni

    October 26, 2018 | Reply

    Oh Maegen, I’m following you such a long time and never left a comment. I’m SO sad to hear that it went in his favor, it’s SUCH A SHAME!!! I really hoped you would win and thought, that there HAS TO BE justice after all. I really can’t believe this and I think so can you. Can you still try to negotiate again? Please keep your head up! I can’t imagine how hard that must be for you as you did such a great job to create a wonderful home. A BIG hug coming from Germany, Anni

    • Maegan Tintari

      October 27, 2018 | Reply

      Thank you SO much for your support. I had really hoped there would be fairness but there was not 🙁 I have to just move forward with what I’ve got.. but it’s been a challenge getting through this mentally. xoxox

  • Allie

    October 26, 2018 | Reply

    Oh hun I’m so very sorry. I wish I had more words of comfort for you that were better than that. He’s such scum and I’d want to punch him too.

  • AJ Rogers

    October 26, 2018 | Reply

    What did he say?!

    I wish there was something I can do to help you with this. We are all here for you and always got your back! Love you Mama Lovecat! 💗

  • RedSportsCar

    October 28, 2018 | Reply

    So sorry to hear how tough it was in that courtroom. You have made such incredible efforts to totally remake your life, that I can’t imagine how painful that was. Thanks for sharing it, and hope for good times that will make this seem long in the past…

  • Jamie Miranda

    October 31, 2018 | Reply

    We bought a fixer upper but he was busy drinking and cheating to actually do any work. I was taking care of four babies the oldest was 11 and the youngest was 1. I was overwhelmed and confused. Why was he treating me so bad. Why was he staying so late at work or the softball team he joined took so much of his time. Then I got a call from the husband of a woman my husband worked with. My world crumbled. I had no income and had to go to court to get him to support us which he thought was so unfair. I had to live in a home that was we bought that was kind of a dump but we were going to make it our dream home. It became a tomb so to speak. Dumb… I was dumb. I cannot still to this day understand how someone who you loved and who used to love you can be so heartless and brutal. So I understand your pain, and having to sell your beautiful home. But I survived and so will you. I eventually gave that man our home after I got the kids old enough to leave home. I took a leap of faith and started over 100% and I didn’t have Louis Vuitton, or Ralph Lauren, Gucci, or Tiffany. I had Walmart, and Payless Shoes. I can guarantee I had way more then someone else in similar circumstances. The thing that unites us is the pain. The quote that got me through it all and continues to help me to this day as trouble comes and goes is “This too will pass”……. and it always does.

    • Maegan Tintari

      November 2, 2018 | Reply

      Thank you for sharing your story <3 and I'm so glad you survived and became stronger for it. I hope you're happy living a life you love... and you're right, the things don't actually matter, but our strength does. For me, it's getting through it all without becoming bitter, becoming stronger in a way to help others too and never feeling like a victim (which is so difficult sometimes). Perspective is everything and no matter the details, pain is pain, but how we cope and what we learn as we journey through it and find ourselves on the other side, gives us a bag of tools for our future and a purpose for moving forward. 🙂 <3 xo

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